How does counselling work?

The first step in any therapeutic work is to establish an atmosphere of ease, comfort and safety. This is cultivated by you and I gradually getting to know each other and relaxing in each other’s company. Trust emerges naturally and this gradual process is supported by my intention to demonstrate my authentic empathy, care and genuine interest in whatever you bring to the sessions. You will be invited to settle into a more open state from which to explore thoughts and feelings, without the fear of being judged or misunderstood. During this phase, focus is also placed on helping you to learn how to regulate states of tension and relaxation, through practical methods such as mindfulness and awareness of the body and mind. As the nervous system moves from physiological arousal (fight/flight/freeze) to a state of calm, one begins to feel more in control of emotions, thoughts and physical sensations. A calm nervous system also means that the mind is more focused in the sessions, which will help you to benefit more from the therapeutic work.

When a feeling of safety and a deeper connection is established, the second phase of therapy can begin. Through a process of exploring links between past experiences and the current situation, you will be invited to observe the impact of your mental and behavioural habits carried from the past. The discussions and observations are aimed at helping you notice how your early conditioning impacts on how you relate to yourself and the world around you. This phase is very much about making sense, and about clarifying questions such as what made me who I am now, and how can I shape my sense of self as I move into the future? The exploration is undertaken in a friendly and non-judgemental manner, with the intention to carry out any enquiry in an atmosphere of self-compassion.

The exploration stage of therapy leads to a series of insights, moments of ‘the penny dropping’ that help you realise where your main challenges come from and how you can skilfully respond to life’s difficulties. Once an insight occurs, there is likely to be a profound shift in perception and behaviour, which are the necessary catalysts of transformation. This is the exciting stage of therapy, where you integrate your newly found perspective into daily life. With my support, you will tests novel and creative ways of behaving and relating to experience. Through gradually gaining confidence in this new way of being, you will come to a deeper understanding of how to best look after your needs and what it means to live an authentic and fulfilling life.